Before Baby: Building a Strong Foundation with Your Partner
Becoming parents is one of life’s most awe-inspiring transformations. It’s a threshold moment, a crossing from one version of life into another. And while pregnancy is often filled with planning and preparation, (think: nurseries, baby showers, birthing classes) there’s one area that tends to be overlooked: the relationship between the parents themselves.
We know that the health of the parental relationship is a core part of postpartum well-being. Taking time to consciously invest in your connection as partners, before your baby arrives is one of the most loving and proactive steps you can take. When you nurture the bond between you and your partner, you’re not only protecting your relationship, but also creating a safer, more stable emotional environment for your growing family.
What the Research Tells Us
According to over 40 years of research from The Gottman Institute, around 67% of couples report a decline in relationship satisfaction within the first three years after having a baby. This shift isn’t a sign of failure, it’s the result of seismic changes that happen on every level: emotional, physical, financial, and logistical.
Spending intentional time strengthening your relationship during pregnancy or while planning for a baby creates lasting benefits:
Why it’s Important
1. You Become a Team Before You’re in the Trenches
New parenthood can feel like a crash course in crisis management. When you’ve already developed shared language, healthy communication habits, and mutual respect, you’ll be able to navigate challenges as allies, not adversaries.
2. You Strengthen Emotional Resilience
Emotional safety in a relationship acts like a buffer against stress. Research shows that couples who regularly affirm, listen to, and attune to one another are more resilient in the face of sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, and the demands of parenting.
3. You Model Healthy Relationships for Your Child
Children learn about love and conflict resolution not just from how you treat them, but from how you treat each other. Building a healthy, respectful relationship gives your child a secure foundation from the very beginning.
4. You Stay Connected to Yourselves
In the flurry of feedings and diaper changes, it’s easy to lose sight of the "you" that existed before parenthood. Creating a strong relational foundation helps preserve your identity, not just as parents, but as individuals and partners.
5. You Create a Safe Space for Postpartum Challenges
Whether it's navigating postpartum mood disorders, physical recovery, or identity shifts, a secure relationship becomes the emotional anchor you’ll return to again and again.
Practical Ways to Prepare Your Relationship Before Baby Arrives
In addition to workshops and therapy, here are a few simple ways you and your partner can intentionally strengthen your connection during pregnancy:
🍼 Schedule Weekly Check-Ins
Make space to regularly talk about how you’re both feeling, emotionally, physically, and mentally. Ask each other: “What’s been on your mind this week?” and “How can I support you?”
🍼 Share the Mental Load Early
Start talking about who will take on what roles during postpartum. Even small logistical conversations now can reduce resentment and misunderstandings later.
🍼 Plan a "Babymoon" or Connection Ritual
Whether it’s a weekend getaway or simply unplugging for a night at home, set aside dedicated time to enjoy each other and celebrate your bond before baby arrives.
🍼 Discuss Expectations Around Visitors, Sleep, and Support
Proactively making decisions about who will visit, how to manage overnight duties, and where to seek help can greatly reduce postpartum stress.
A Safe Space to Strengthen Together
My name is Kendra Foisie Rice and I am a licensed Mental Health Counselor Supervisor, Perinatal Mental Health Certified practitioner, and owner of Humanity Psychotherapy. I know what it’s like to be in the trenches after baby and I specialize in helping parents through this magical/terrible/wonderful time. I offer Bringing Baby Home workshops for couples looking to feel more grounded, connected, and prepared as they enter this sacred new chapter. This research-based experience is warm, welcoming, and rooted in real-life relational tools—not abstract theory.
I also provide couples counseling tailored to the unique transitions of parenthood. Whether you’re navigating communication challenges, emotional distance, or simply want to deepen your connection, this space is for you.
As a perinatal psychotherapist, my goal is to offer the kind of support that empowers couples to thrive—not just survive—through the journey of parenthood.
Let’s Connect
To learn more about upcoming Bringing Baby Home workshops or schedule a consultation, visit http://humanitypsychotherapy.com/ . You can also reach out to the team at The Heybrook for all kinds of holistic postpartum wellness offerings.
Because the love you share is the soil your family will grow in. Let's tend to it with care.
Kendra is a member of the Heybrook Provider Network! You can learn more about her + the other providers that are a part of our community here!