How to Say Yes More
This post was written by Veronica Kelly of Tiger Lily. Veronica is a member of the Heybrook Provider Network. You can find all of our incredible go-to-experts here!
A few years ago, I found myself saying no to my kid a lot—like, a lot. I would catch myself saying “no” before I even heard the full question. My child would look up at me, hopeful and excited, and I would shut it down—out of habit, not necessity. It wasn’t a safety issue. It wasn’t even inconvenient. It just wasn’t in the plan. And I realized how often that happens—and how much more connection could come from saying yes. Fast forward a few years, with more experience and training under my belt. Now I am a huge believer in practicing the power of “yes”.
Hi, I’m Veronica, the founder of Tiger Lily Parent Coaching and Tiger Lily Preschool. I’ve been teaching preschool and supporting families for over 10 years. I’m certified in Positive Discipline and mama of two…and I’m also human. This parenting thing is hard work but you are not alone. So let’s dive in!
Why We Default to “No”
Saying no is quick. It feels like control. When we’re juggling a million things—getting out the door, making dinner, keeping the peace—it’s easy to shut things down before they spiral. Sometimes we say no because we’re tired, overstimulated, or just trying to get through the day. Other times it’s about fear: of messes, of tantrums, of losing our grip on the routine. Saying no becomes a reflex—a way to manage the chaos. But over time, that reflex can create resistance, disconnection, and missed opportunities for joy.
The Power of Saying Yes
Saying yes doesn’t mean giving in—it means tuning in. When we say yes thoughtfully, we send a message to our kids: I see you. I hear you. Your ideas matter. A well-placed yes can diffuse a power struggle, spark creativity, or open the door to playful connection. It builds trust and gives our children a sense of agency—something every human needs, no matter how small. And it helps us, too. When we say yes to spontaneity, curiosity, or even a little silliness, we invite more joy into our days. The truth is, we often can say yes, once we pause and ask ourselves what we’re really protecting—our boundaries, or just our comfort?
Ways to Say Yes More Often
You don’t have to say yes to everything to say yes more. It starts with a simple shift: instead of reacting, pause. Ask yourself, is there a way to say yes to this in a way that still works for me?
Here are a few ways that might look:
Yes, with a condition: “Yes, you can have a cookie—after lunch.” You’re honoring the request, just with boundaries.
Yes, with redirection: “Yes, you can paint—let’s set up outside where it’s easier to clean.”
Yes, with a time frame: “Yes, we can go to the park—after we finish our errands.”
Yes, in advance: Build “yes” moments into your day, like messy playtime or letting your child pick their outfit.
It’s also okay to say, “That’s an interesting idea—let’s plan a time when we can do that.” Even a delayed yes helps your child feel heard. Over time, this approach builds cooperation, not conflict. It doesn’t mean there aren’t still boundaries—just that you’re finding ways to meet both of your needs with more connection and flexibility.
Saying yes more doesn’t mean letting go of structure or boundaries—it means being intentional. It means noticing the moments where connection matters more than control. The more we practice pausing, getting curious, and looking for that yes, the more our kids feel seen—and the more ease we create in our homes. It’s not about being permissive. It’s about building a relationship where cooperation grows out of trust and mutual respect.
Let’s stay connected!
If you’re interested in learning more you can visit our website https://tigerlilyschool.com/work-with-us for pricing and package details. We support families through preschool, parenting and play. If you want to see if working together would be a good fit, we offer a free 20-minute consultation. Don’t hesitate to reach out – veronica@tigerlilyschool.com
